Anonymous asked: Well im into a kind of torment. I dont know where to begin. But I also know the answer, to give up bad habits. It is difficult to keep myself strong. My greatest fear is to be rejected by women so I dont approach them. I look very demoniac maybe so better forget em I say. But later im thinking about having a girlfriend or wife, I also think on having children. Why not? so then again starts the cycle and end up lonely. WHat to do?
Hey, I’d take “demoniac” over completely dull and uninteresting anytime. (And have.)
Your question comes from a very painful, personal place. As you said, you already know the answers — there are just times when they’re unacceptable, when they don’t comfort you. I wish I knew how old you were, my answer might change a bit depending on how long you’d been waging this battle.
My deck’s answer is the same either way. In the Seven of Coins, we saw a farmer in the throes of despair and disillusionment because the harvest he’s gathered doesn’t match the seeds he planted. It’s the misery we feel when even our humblest expectations aren’t met. Maybe there’s something we could have done differently, maybe not; it hardly matters now that the fruit’s already hanging off the vine.
The Eight of Coins shows the process by which we take this disappointing product and put it to work for us. Runty cucumbers become pickles. The corn withered on the stalk? Pulp the whole mess into homemade paper. Chop off the wormy ends of the apples and press them into cider, bake them into pies.
It’s not important what you produce, Querent, it’s that you keep doing it, no matter what. Dita Von Teese — one of the most glamorous women alive — said this: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
Okay, so you’re not a peach. You’re pickles. I know people who looooove pickles.
Prove to the world that you are capable of love, and the world will prove to you that you’re worthy of love. That’s all there really is, for any of us.
Anonymous asked: I have recently found myself at the center of a love triangle between my two best friends. I have these deep feelings that I continue to stuff down because I don't want anyone to get hurt. Am I only hurting myself with this secret?
All of you are being hurt. The things we do in the name of protecting our loved ones are often more harmful than whatever we’re protecting them from; the truths we obscure in order to protect ourselves never actually go away, they just keep working their pointy little way through the layers we throw down over them.
Everyone involved is responsible for finding their own path through this mess. No one can do that as long as everyone keeps shifting position. By perpetuating this dance, you are denying yourself and your friends a chance to have truly loving relationships.
Find your own firm ground. Be honest, even if that means exposing past untruths. Remember this sage advice by Anne Lamott: “You don’t always have to chop with the sword of truth. You can point with it too.”
The change starts with you, Querent.
The Aces have been coming up a lot in recent readings. You’ll want to meditate on these cards as the New Year approaches. They are each the expression of an elemental promise at its purest and most potent. As we count upward through the rest of the Minor Arcana cards, from the Twos through the Tens, we see the forms these ideas may take as they slowly crystallize in the material world.
Consider these Aces to be page one of 2014’s Choose Your Own Adventure book. Which one will you choose to guide you, and why? Drop me a note and let me know.
thunderfrosty asked: What deck do you use? I absolutely love the cards!
This is the Victoria Regina deck. It’s currently out of print, which is how I ended up with a Chinese edition — if anyone out there knows enough Chinese to tell me how the literal translations of the card names compare to English, I’d love to hear it.
I’m very kind to my deck — I’ve done hundreds of readings with it I’m terrified of having to replace it.
Anonymous asked: Here's a fun one: I, the dreamy Pisces, have this intense crush on a celebrity and have for about five years. I'm not usually the sort to crush like this on a perfect stranger, but I am and it's sort of fun to have that giddy thrill when I hear about him on the news. Anything in cards for us? I will accept a wagging finger and a reminder to keep my feet on the ground, as well. My deck gave me gibberish but I was a wee bit drunk, so la-dee-da.
Hey, it’s a crazy world out there, and who am I to tell someone what may or may not be possible for them? Just look at that whats-her-face who ended up with Matt Damon.
As you can see, my deck has pointedly refused to rain on your parade.
I’m on board with stoking this fantasy as long as it doesn’t contribute to a sense of deep inborn despair that allows you to wallow in paroxysms of “I’ll never be able to have the things I really want!” If you stare at the sun long enough, it leaves you blind to the more immediate and lubricious pleasures here on Earth.
I eventually had to give up on Emile Hirsch for these very reasons, Querent. I almost never look back.